I'm running for President. Here is my platform

After a careful review of the options for the up coming election, I have decided to become a write-in candidate. Here is my platform:

Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language of this country. Speak it or wait at the border until you can.

We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out our country's attitude. No imports, no exports. We will use the Wal-Mart policy: If we ain't got it, you don't need it. When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it. One export will be allowed-Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price as a barrel of oil.

All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. It will be a six month tour with the weapon of their choice. They will be under strict orders not to fire on southbound aliens.

Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't getting nuttin' out. Neither the president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.

Welfare checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of a 40 hour work/school week and after the successful completion of a urinalysis test

Professional athletes-Steroids-The FIRST time you check positive, you will be banned for life.

Crime-We will adopt the Muslim method. The first time you steal, we cut off your right hand. There will be no more life sentences-if you are convicted of a Capitol Offense with no doubt, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc. If you are convicted of rape, you will be castrated.

All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease. The saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

All politicians will be limited to two terms. If the individual feels like they really want to run for a third term, it is with the understanding that if they are elected for a third term, they will be executed at the end of it.

The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at every school and every day in Congress-right after a prayer to God.

The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

Three categories of Americans will be taken care of before money is spent by the government, our elderly, handicapped and veterans.

It is time Americans take back America.

I appreciate your support.