I have a question

I just have a few questions I've often wondered about:

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea....does that mean that one out of five enjoy it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to began with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If Fed-Ex and UPS were to merge, would they be called Fed-Up?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wonder, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the post office? What are we supposed to do, write them? Why don't they just put their pictures on postage stamps so the mailman can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Is it true you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

If you are travelling at the speed of light and turn a flashlight on, does it cast a beam?

Does dark have a speed too?

If you can think of any, please leave in the comment section. Thanks