Funny Quotes

“Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses and men lying in the roads – they are not there accidentally.” Soviet Infantry manual, issued in the 1930’s.

“One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine…” From a Soviet Junior Lt’s notebook.

“The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons.” Russian military doctrine.

“The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis.” From a post-war debriefing of a German General.

Pearl Harbour radio operator, “Is there anything we can provide?” Response from the Marine Commander on Wake Island: “Send us more Japs.” Said to be the last radio transmissions received from the Marines on Wake Island before it fell to the Japanese, 1941.

In 1836, the Creek and Seminole Indian tribes in Georgia and Florida were waging war against the United States. The U.S. Army had it’s hands full. The Fifth Commandant of the Marine Corps offered the services of a regiment of Marines for duty with the Army. Henderson placed himself in command and, taking virtually the entire available strength of the Corps, left for the extended campaign after tacking a terse message on his office door which read: “Have gone to Florida to fight Indians. Will be back when War is over. “ A. Henderson, Col. Commandant.

“The best armor is staying out of gun-shot.” Italian proverb.

“Airplanes can barely keep themselves in the air. How can they carry any kind of load?” William Pickering, astronomer, 1908.

“Airplanes suffer from so many technical faults that it is only a matter of time before any reasonable man realizes that they are useless!” Scientific American (1910)

“No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.” Orville Wright

“Artillery is the King of Battle: The King cannot swim, however, which is why we need you guys.” USMC arty specialist to a group of Navy officers in Amphib Warfare Indoc Course.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching.” Unknown.

“To throw bombs from an airplane will do as much damage as throwing bags of flour. It will be my pleasure to stand on the bridge of any ship while it is attacked by airplanes.” Newton Baker, U.S. Minister of Defense (1921)

“Samuel Morse must have lost his mind if he believes in this idea himself!” Senator Oliver Hampton Smith, after having seen a demonstration of Morse’s new invention (1842)

“Radio is just a fashion contrivance that will soon die out. It is obvious that there never will be invented a proper receiver!” Thomas Edison

“There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives.” Bumper sticker.