The Marine three-star general was giving the new recruits his patented indoctrination on commitment to the cause.
"I demand commitment from my men! Do you even think you know the meaning of the word? I'll show you!"
He turned to his aide, "Let him in," he ordered and the aide opened a side door releasing a large alligator.
The general stared straight at the new recruits. "THIS is commitment." he undid his belt and kicked off trousers. The alligator sank his teeth in the general's family jewels and held on tight. The general winced, but regained his composure and shouted again, "THIS is commitment!"
He waited a few more seconds, then poked his finger in the alligator's eye. The gator let loose and scurried out the side door.
"Now you know what commitment means, it's your turn. Who's ready to show his commitment?"
There was a little murmuring, but no volunteers. finally, one private meekly stepped forward and said, "Sir, I will Sir! Just don't poke me in the eye."
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
National Public Radio Interview
Marine Corp's General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!
The general was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
Female interviewer: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
Gen. Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
Female Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
Gen. Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
Female Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
Gen. Reinwald: "I don't see how. We'll be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."
Female Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
Gen. Reinwald: "Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute but you're not, are you?"
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
You gotta love the Marines.
The general was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
Female interviewer: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
Gen. Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
Female Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
Gen. Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
Female Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
Gen. Reinwald: "I don't see how. We'll be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."
Female Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
Gen. Reinwald: "Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute but you're not, are you?"
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
You gotta love the Marines.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Dear Ma and Pa...
Dear Ma and Pa,
Am well. Hope you are too. I knows Pa don't read reel fast, so I'm writin this reel slow. Tell brothers Walt and Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Benz. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you gots to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing .Men got to shave but it is not bad, they git warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings. Like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc…, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried maters, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city slickers from Ohio that live on coffee.
Their food plus holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much. We go on “route” marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice, but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags some. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near big as a chipmunk and don’t move. And it ain’t shooting at you, like the Couch boys at home.All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even have to load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry up and join before other fellas get onto this setup and come stampeding in
.
Your loving daughter,
Dawn
Am well. Hope you are too. I knows Pa don't read reel fast, so I'm writin this reel slow. Tell brothers Walt and Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Benz. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you gots to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing .Men got to shave but it is not bad, they git warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings. Like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc…, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried maters, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city slickers from Ohio that live on coffee.
Their food plus holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much. We go on “route” marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice, but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags some. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near big as a chipmunk and don’t move. And it ain’t shooting at you, like the Couch boys at home.All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even have to load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry up and join before other fellas get onto this setup and come stampeding in
.
Your loving daughter,
Dawn
New chemical warfare
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: “Anyone know the formula for water?”
“Sure, that’s easy,” said one man.
“ H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.”
“What, what?” re-asked the instructor.
“H to O,” explained the chemistry expert.
“Sure, that’s easy,” said one man.
“ H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.”
“What, what?” re-asked the instructor.
“H to O,” explained the chemistry expert.
Change....
Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”
Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now, let’s try it again.”
Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “No, SIR!”
Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”
Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now, let’s try it again.”
Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “No, SIR!”
Flying backseat in an F-14....
Below is an article written by Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated. He details his experiences when given the opportunity to fly in a F-14 Tomcat. If you aren’t laughing by the time you get to “Milk Duds,” your sense of humor is broken.
“Now this message if for America’s most famous athletes.
Someday you may be invited to fly in the back seat of one of your country’s most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have…John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity…
Move to Guam. Change your name. Fake your own death! Whatever you do…Do Not Go!!!
I know.
The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should have known when they told me my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach.
Whatever you’re thinking a Top Gun pilot named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He’s about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, finger crippling handshake—the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way. Fast.
Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of NASA missions. (“T-minus 15 seconds and counting….” Remember?) Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine year olds waiting for him to say, “We have a liftoff.”
Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.
“Bananas,” he said.
“For the potassium?” I asked.
“No,” Biff said, “because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down.”
The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign – like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot – but, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, this was it.
A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me my safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would “egress” me out of the plane at such velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious.
Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy rolled over another F-14.
Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80. It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it chased us.
We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs. Colin Montgomerie.
And I egressed the bananas. I egressed the pizza from the night before. And lunch before that. I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade. I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G-s, I was egressing stuff that did not even want to be egressed. I went through not one airsick bag, but two.
Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G’s were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to throw down.
I used to know cool. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making a five-iron bite. But now I really know cool. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast iron stomachs and Freon nerves. I wouldn’t go up there again for Derek Jeter’s black book, but I’m glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand.
A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he’d send it on a patch for my flight suit.
What is it? I asked.
“Two Bags.”
“Now this message if for America’s most famous athletes.
Someday you may be invited to fly in the back seat of one of your country’s most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have…John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity…
Move to Guam. Change your name. Fake your own death! Whatever you do…Do Not Go!!!
I know.
The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should have known when they told me my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach.
Whatever you’re thinking a Top Gun pilot named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He’s about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, finger crippling handshake—the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way. Fast.
Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of NASA missions. (“T-minus 15 seconds and counting….” Remember?) Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine year olds waiting for him to say, “We have a liftoff.”
Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.
“Bananas,” he said.
“For the potassium?” I asked.
“No,” Biff said, “because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down.”
The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign – like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot – but, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, this was it.
A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me my safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would “egress” me out of the plane at such velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious.
Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy rolled over another F-14.
Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80. It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it chased us.
We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs. Colin Montgomerie.
And I egressed the bananas. I egressed the pizza from the night before. And lunch before that. I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade. I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G-s, I was egressing stuff that did not even want to be egressed. I went through not one airsick bag, but two.
Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G’s were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to throw down.
I used to know cool. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making a five-iron bite. But now I really know cool. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast iron stomachs and Freon nerves. I wouldn’t go up there again for Derek Jeter’s black book, but I’m glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand.
A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he’d send it on a patch for my flight suit.
What is it? I asked.
“Two Bags.”
What time is it??????
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?”
The tower responded, “Who’s calling?”
The aircraft replied, “What difference does it make?”
The tower replied,” It makes a lot of difference.
If it’s an American Airlines flight, it’s 3 o’clock.
If it’s an Air Force plane, it’s 1500 hours.
If it’s a Navy aircraft, it’s 6 bells.
If it’s an Army aircraft, the big hand in on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it’s a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to “Happy Hour.”
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?”
The tower responded, “Who’s calling?”
The aircraft replied, “What difference does it make?”
The tower replied,” It makes a lot of difference.
If it’s an American Airlines flight, it’s 3 o’clock.
If it’s an Air Force plane, it’s 1500 hours.
If it’s a Navy aircraft, it’s 6 bells.
If it’s an Army aircraft, the big hand in on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it’s a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to “Happy Hour.”
Thumbs Up....
I guess we’ve all seen Air Force pilots look up just before taxi for takeoff and look at their fist to see if their thumb is sticking straight up.
The crew chief on the ground then agrees and confirms that it is there, salutes and the Air Force pilot then takes off.
Few people know the true reason for this time tested tradition. This is the last link in the Air Force safety net to confirm just prior to takeoff that the pilot does not have both thumbs up his ass.
The crew chief on the ground then agrees and confirms that it is there, salutes and the Air Force pilot then takes off.
Few people know the true reason for this time tested tradition. This is the last link in the Air Force safety net to confirm just prior to takeoff that the pilot does not have both thumbs up his ass.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Funny Quotes
“Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses and men lying in the roads – they are not there accidentally.” Soviet Infantry manual, issued in the 1930’s.
“One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine…” From a Soviet Junior Lt’s notebook.
“The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons.” Russian military doctrine.
“The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis.” From a post-war debriefing of a German General.
Pearl Harbour radio operator, “Is there anything we can provide?” Response from the Marine Commander on Wake Island: “Send us more Japs.” Said to be the last radio transmissions received from the Marines on Wake Island before it fell to the Japanese, 1941.
In 1836, the Creek and Seminole Indian tribes in Georgia and Florida were waging war against the United States. The U.S. Army had it’s hands full. The Fifth Commandant of the Marine Corps offered the services of a regiment of Marines for duty with the Army. Henderson placed himself in command and, taking virtually the entire available strength of the Corps, left for the extended campaign after tacking a terse message on his office door which read: “Have gone to Florida to fight Indians. Will be back when War is over. “ A. Henderson, Col. Commandant.
“The best armor is staying out of gun-shot.” Italian proverb.
“Airplanes can barely keep themselves in the air. How can they carry any kind of load?” William Pickering, astronomer, 1908.
“Airplanes suffer from so many technical faults that it is only a matter of time before any reasonable man realizes that they are useless!” Scientific American (1910)
“No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.” Orville Wright
“Artillery is the King of Battle: The King cannot swim, however, which is why we need you guys.” USMC arty specialist to a group of Navy officers in Amphib Warfare Indoc Course.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching.” Unknown.
“To throw bombs from an airplane will do as much damage as throwing bags of flour. It will be my pleasure to stand on the bridge of any ship while it is attacked by airplanes.” Newton Baker, U.S. Minister of Defense (1921)
“Samuel Morse must have lost his mind if he believes in this idea himself!” Senator Oliver Hampton Smith, after having seen a demonstration of Morse’s new invention (1842)
“Radio is just a fashion contrivance that will soon die out. It is obvious that there never will be invented a proper receiver!” Thomas Edison
“There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives.” Bumper sticker.
“One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine…” From a Soviet Junior Lt’s notebook.
“The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons.” Russian military doctrine.
“The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis.” From a post-war debriefing of a German General.
Pearl Harbour radio operator, “Is there anything we can provide?” Response from the Marine Commander on Wake Island: “Send us more Japs.” Said to be the last radio transmissions received from the Marines on Wake Island before it fell to the Japanese, 1941.
In 1836, the Creek and Seminole Indian tribes in Georgia and Florida were waging war against the United States. The U.S. Army had it’s hands full. The Fifth Commandant of the Marine Corps offered the services of a regiment of Marines for duty with the Army. Henderson placed himself in command and, taking virtually the entire available strength of the Corps, left for the extended campaign after tacking a terse message on his office door which read: “Have gone to Florida to fight Indians. Will be back when War is over. “ A. Henderson, Col. Commandant.
“The best armor is staying out of gun-shot.” Italian proverb.
“Airplanes can barely keep themselves in the air. How can they carry any kind of load?” William Pickering, astronomer, 1908.
“Airplanes suffer from so many technical faults that it is only a matter of time before any reasonable man realizes that they are useless!” Scientific American (1910)
“No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.” Orville Wright
“Artillery is the King of Battle: The King cannot swim, however, which is why we need you guys.” USMC arty specialist to a group of Navy officers in Amphib Warfare Indoc Course.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching.” Unknown.
“To throw bombs from an airplane will do as much damage as throwing bags of flour. It will be my pleasure to stand on the bridge of any ship while it is attacked by airplanes.” Newton Baker, U.S. Minister of Defense (1921)
“Samuel Morse must have lost his mind if he believes in this idea himself!” Senator Oliver Hampton Smith, after having seen a demonstration of Morse’s new invention (1842)
“Radio is just a fashion contrivance that will soon die out. It is obvious that there never will be invented a proper receiver!” Thomas Edison
“There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives.” Bumper sticker.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Famous Military Quotes
"Don't fire until you see the white's of their eyes."
Attributed to Israel Putnam, at the battle of Bunker Hill, June 1775.
The rest of the quote, according to Putnam's lower ranking officers was:
"Powder is scarce and must not be wasted. Fire Low! You are all marksmen and could kill a squirrel at a hundred yards. Reserve your fire and the enemy will be destroyed."
This quote has been wrongfully attributed to the commanding officer Colonel William Prescott.
"I have not yet begun to fight."
Captain John Paul Jones aboard the the Bon Homme Richard. He fought the British ship Serapis. The Serapis captain asked if John Paul Jones swanted to surrender. Jones yelled back, "I have not yet begun to fight!"
"Si vis pacem, para bellum."
(If you want peace, prepare for war.)
Flavius Vegetius Renatus, Roman military strategist. c. 390 A.D.
"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."
General George Patton
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Sir Edmund Burke (1729-1797) British statesman and philosopher.
"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few."
Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill after the battle of Britain about the Royal Air Corps.
"Veni, vidi, vici."
(I came, I saw, I conquered.)
Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor ( 100 b.c. - 44 b.c.)
"Come on you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever?"
Gunnery Sergeant Dan Daly, 04 June 1918, leading Marines at Belleu Woods. Gunny Daly served with the Fourth Marine Brigade in W.W. I and was awarded two Medals of Honor.
Attributed to Israel Putnam, at the battle of Bunker Hill, June 1775.
The rest of the quote, according to Putnam's lower ranking officers was:
"Powder is scarce and must not be wasted. Fire Low! You are all marksmen and could kill a squirrel at a hundred yards. Reserve your fire and the enemy will be destroyed."
This quote has been wrongfully attributed to the commanding officer Colonel William Prescott.
"I have not yet begun to fight."
Captain John Paul Jones aboard the the Bon Homme Richard. He fought the British ship Serapis. The Serapis captain asked if John Paul Jones swanted to surrender. Jones yelled back, "I have not yet begun to fight!"
"Si vis pacem, para bellum."
(If you want peace, prepare for war.)
Flavius Vegetius Renatus, Roman military strategist. c. 390 A.D.
"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."
General George Patton
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Sir Edmund Burke (1729-1797) British statesman and philosopher.
"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few."
Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill after the battle of Britain about the Royal Air Corps.
"Veni, vidi, vici."
(I came, I saw, I conquered.)
Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor ( 100 b.c. - 44 b.c.)
"Come on you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever?"
Gunnery Sergeant Dan Daly, 04 June 1918, leading Marines at Belleu Woods. Gunny Daly served with the Fourth Marine Brigade in W.W. I and was awarded two Medals of Honor.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Congress Bill allows veterans to salute American flag
In February 2008 Congress approved and the President signed the 2008 Defense Authorization Bill which included (S.1877) an amendment to title 4, USC, to allow veterans to salute the flag during the raising and lowering of the flag and during the passing of the colors.
Congress is aware that they overlooked the National Anthem and have added an amendment to the Department of Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal year 2009 (S. 3002, section 1081) to amend title 36, USC, to allow veterans to salute during the National Anthem. Below is the wording in the bill:
Section 301(b)(1) of title 36, United States Code, is amended by striking sub paragraphs (A) through (C) and inserting the following new sub paragraphs:
(A) individuals in uniform should give the military salute at the first note of the anthem and maintain that position until the last note;
(B) members of the Armed Forces and veterans who are present but not in uniform may render the military salute in the manner provided for individuals in uniform; and
(C) all other persons present should face the flag and stand at attention with their right hand over their heart, and men, not in uniform, if applicable, should remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart; and
So being a veteran, we are now allowed to salute the flag during the raising and lowering, when the colors are presented, and during the National Anthem.
Congress is aware that they overlooked the National Anthem and have added an amendment to the Department of Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal year 2009 (S. 3002, section 1081) to amend title 36, USC, to allow veterans to salute during the National Anthem. Below is the wording in the bill:
Section 301(b)(1) of title 36, United States Code, is amended by striking sub paragraphs (A) through (C) and inserting the following new sub paragraphs:
(A) individuals in uniform should give the military salute at the first note of the anthem and maintain that position until the last note;
(B) members of the Armed Forces and veterans who are present but not in uniform may render the military salute in the manner provided for individuals in uniform; and
(C) all other persons present should face the flag and stand at attention with their right hand over their heart, and men, not in uniform, if applicable, should remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart; and
So being a veteran, we are now allowed to salute the flag during the raising and lowering, when the colors are presented, and during the National Anthem.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Useless trivia - fun facts
Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
Minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit equals minus 40 degrees Celsius.
Michael Jordan shaves his head on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Powdered non-dairy creamer is flammable.
The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
Raindrops are not tear-drop shaped. They are rounded at the top and flat on the bottom.
Issac Asimov is the only author to have written a book in all 10 Dewey decimal system categories.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The purpose of the indentation at the bottom of a wine bottle is to strengthen the structure of the bottle and to trap sediments in the wine.
The wingspan of a Boeing 747 jet is longer than the Wright Brothers' first powered flight.
The Statue of Liberty's tablet is two feet thick.
If done perfectly, any Rubik's Cube combination can be solved in 17 turns.
A pigs orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
A blue whale gains approximately 200 pounds a day for the first seven months of its life.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
All polar bears are left handed.
The human body has 70,000 miles of blood vessels.
Minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit equals minus 40 degrees Celsius.
Michael Jordan shaves his head on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Powdered non-dairy creamer is flammable.
The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
Raindrops are not tear-drop shaped. They are rounded at the top and flat on the bottom.
Issac Asimov is the only author to have written a book in all 10 Dewey decimal system categories.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The purpose of the indentation at the bottom of a wine bottle is to strengthen the structure of the bottle and to trap sediments in the wine.
The wingspan of a Boeing 747 jet is longer than the Wright Brothers' first powered flight.
The Statue of Liberty's tablet is two feet thick.
If done perfectly, any Rubik's Cube combination can be solved in 17 turns.
A pigs orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
A blue whale gains approximately 200 pounds a day for the first seven months of its life.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
All polar bears are left handed.
The human body has 70,000 miles of blood vessels.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Evoulution of an Airman
E-1 Airman Basic - You've been in the Air Force all of one day and don't know squat. You're being taught how to fold your underwear and that silver bars is a captain, not a colonel.
E-2 Airman - You still don't know squat, however, you are going to technical school, completing CDC's, and doing the most simplest tasks in your new career field.
E-3 Airman First Class - You're now upgraded to a 3 - level. Although you now know which end of the screwdriver to hold in your hand and that it's righty tighty, left loosey, you've still got a long way to go before anyone will believe you know what you're doing.
E-4 Senior Airman - Now you're a 5 - level. You can remove and replace an aircraft component so long as there are no more than 4 bolts, but throw in a few lock washers or some safety wire and you're looking for help.
E-5 Staff Sergeant - After completing more CDC's, you're upgraded to a 7 - level. Now that you have a rocker, you think you should have more responsibility as a leader of men. The shop chief agrees, so he names you a vehicle crew chief.
E-6 Technical Sergeant - You've been in the Air Force about 10 years and feel that the Air Force could not get along without you. Lower ranking airmen look to you for expertise in fixing more difficult problems. You now have one hell of a chip on your shoulder and feel that you are God's gift to the Air Force.
E-7 Master Sergeant - You've made it to the top three and feel you're going to take on the world and make Chief. You complete the Senior NCO Academy by correspondence. You're now given more responsibility and are leading a shift, or duty section. You seldom do more than write performance reports, or decide who works the grave yard shift.
E-8 Senior Master Sergeant - You attend the in-residence Senior NCO Academy, and will never touch a tool box again the rest of your Air Force career. Lower ranking airmen know better than to ask you about difficult tasks in the career field, because they know you forgot most of it by know. They realize that you are only concerned about keeping your nose clean, getting attention for that endorsement, and making Chief.
E-9 Chief Master Sergeant - You've made it to where very few men in the Air Force do. You are a Chief. It's been between 5 and 10 years since you've carried a tool box and by now you've forgotten the names of most of the tools. Your job now is simply to be present, listen to the airman's concerns, act like you actually do care, and delegate. You reach your 30 year mark and are refused the 3 year extension beyond High Year of Tenure. You have a retirement ceremony, listen to all the compliments that people had to dream up about you and drive out the gate. The Air Force returns you to society the same way they got you. Once again, you don't know squat.
E-2 Airman - You still don't know squat, however, you are going to technical school, completing CDC's, and doing the most simplest tasks in your new career field.
E-3 Airman First Class - You're now upgraded to a 3 - level. Although you now know which end of the screwdriver to hold in your hand and that it's righty tighty, left loosey, you've still got a long way to go before anyone will believe you know what you're doing.
E-4 Senior Airman - Now you're a 5 - level. You can remove and replace an aircraft component so long as there are no more than 4 bolts, but throw in a few lock washers or some safety wire and you're looking for help.
E-5 Staff Sergeant - After completing more CDC's, you're upgraded to a 7 - level. Now that you have a rocker, you think you should have more responsibility as a leader of men. The shop chief agrees, so he names you a vehicle crew chief.
E-6 Technical Sergeant - You've been in the Air Force about 10 years and feel that the Air Force could not get along without you. Lower ranking airmen look to you for expertise in fixing more difficult problems. You now have one hell of a chip on your shoulder and feel that you are God's gift to the Air Force.
E-7 Master Sergeant - You've made it to the top three and feel you're going to take on the world and make Chief. You complete the Senior NCO Academy by correspondence. You're now given more responsibility and are leading a shift, or duty section. You seldom do more than write performance reports, or decide who works the grave yard shift.
E-8 Senior Master Sergeant - You attend the in-residence Senior NCO Academy, and will never touch a tool box again the rest of your Air Force career. Lower ranking airmen know better than to ask you about difficult tasks in the career field, because they know you forgot most of it by know. They realize that you are only concerned about keeping your nose clean, getting attention for that endorsement, and making Chief.
E-9 Chief Master Sergeant - You've made it to where very few men in the Air Force do. You are a Chief. It's been between 5 and 10 years since you've carried a tool box and by now you've forgotten the names of most of the tools. Your job now is simply to be present, listen to the airman's concerns, act like you actually do care, and delegate. You reach your 30 year mark and are refused the 3 year extension beyond High Year of Tenure. You have a retirement ceremony, listen to all the compliments that people had to dream up about you and drive out the gate. The Air Force returns you to society the same way they got you. Once again, you don't know squat.
Monday, October 6, 2008
U.S. Marine Corps Oath of Enlistment
I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), swear...uhhhh....high-and-tight....grunt....cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....blowup....ugh....Air Force women....beer....sailors wives....air strikes....Sir, yes sir!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....make a hole, ships company....Ooorah Gunny....grenades....women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty Puller!!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Us Navy Oath of Enlistment
I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the United States Navy, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was "too corporate", because I didn't want to actually live in the dirt like the Army, and because I thought, 'Hey, I like to swim...why not?"
I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean, "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in the wall and toilet."
I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case i will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to a point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of new found "colleagues." So help me Neptune!
I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean, "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in the wall and toilet."
I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case i will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to a point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of new found "colleagues." So help me Neptune!
Friday, October 3, 2008
US Army Oath of Enlistment
I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the United States Army because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use boot blousers. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date.
I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test.
After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay at home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me 12 times, I will continue to take her back. While at work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hours because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 hours to report back to "COMPANY."
I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000.00 for college, but I will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So help me God!
I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test.
After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay at home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me 12 times, I will continue to take her back. While at work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hours because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 hours to report back to "COMPANY."
I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000.00 for college, but I will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So help me God!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
U. S Air Force Oath of Enlistment
I, (state your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the United States Air Force because I now I couldn't hack it in the Army, the Marines frighten me, and the Navy because I am afraid of water over waist deep.I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services that way.
I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean donut eating, Lazy Boy sitting, civilian wearing blue clothes, Chair Borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So help me God!"
I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean donut eating, Lazy Boy sitting, civilian wearing blue clothes, Chair Borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So help me God!"
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Who Said That?
I walked over to the Group W bench, where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the Army after committing your special crime. And I said, " I didn't get nothing, I had to pay fifty dollars and pick up the garbage." The sergeant came over, he had some papers in his hand, and said, "Kid, this piece of paper's got 47 words, 37 sentences. We wanna know the details of the crime, all about the crime and anything else you gotta say...." He went on for 45 minutes and no one understood a word he said.
I filled out the paper about the Massacre, with four part harmony, and everything was fine. I put down my pencil and turned over the piece of paper, and there...there on the other side...in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on the other side, in parentheses, in capital letters, quotated, read the following words: "Kid, have you rehabilitated yourself?"
I went over to the sergeant, and said, I said, "Sergeant, you got a lot damn gall, to ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean I'm just sitting here on the group W bench, because you wanna know if I'm moral enough to join the Army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after being a litterbug?
I filled out the paper about the Massacre, with four part harmony, and everything was fine. I put down my pencil and turned over the piece of paper, and there...there on the other side...in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on the other side, in parentheses, in capital letters, quotated, read the following words: "Kid, have you rehabilitated yourself?"
I went over to the sergeant, and said, I said, "Sergeant, you got a lot damn gall, to ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean I'm just sitting here on the group W bench, because you wanna know if I'm moral enough to join the Army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after being a litterbug?
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