You might be a soldier if....

You might be a soldier if.....
1. …The day after payday you realize you’ve spent half of your earnings on “champagne” for a woman who speaks broken English and pretends to be interested in your war stories….
2. …Instead of a gold chain around your neck, you’ve got a stainless steel one threaded through a P38…
3. …Your street addresses have been Infantry Blvd, Howitzer Lane and Helmet Drive…
4. …Your wife responds to “hooah” and understands what it means regardless of the context you present it in…
5. …When in a strange place and needing a restroom, you ask where the latrine is…
6. …When you go camping, you first check for possible avenues of approach
7. …You ridicule other campers for setting up down wind and down slope of the latrine.
8. …You’re the only one that doesn’t complain about having to stand and eat at the same time at parties.
9. …When you’re stopped by police for speeding, you give the excuse that you’ve just returned from Germany where there are no speed limits.
10. …You’re always conscious of your per diem spending limit when in a nightclub on TDY.
11. …You’ve ever used your poncho-liner as a bed spread.
12. …You have a bottle of Tabasco sauce ready for every meal.
13. …You still have an urge to line up your shoes under your bed.
14. …Either you or your spouse have a least one pair of camouflage underwear.
15. …You’ve ever answered the phone at home like the CQ.
16. ..the only time you and the wife eat without the kids is at the unit “dining out”.
17. …you always back into parking spaces.
18. …you have to lookup your parents phone number, but can dial the CQ, SDNCO, company, battalion and brigade with no problem at all.
19. … each page of your vacation atlas has two routes marked.
20. …your favorite author is Harold Coyle, Mike Malone, or Tom Clancy.
21. …when your kids are too noisy, you announce “at ease!”
22. …you don’t own any blue ink pens.
23. …you keep a box of MREs at home and in the trunk of your car in case of emergencies.
24. …when talking to relatives by phone, you end the conversation with “out here.”
25. …you refer to your spouse as “Household 6″ or CINC House.”
26. …you’ve seen Patton enough times to memorize his speech.
27. …CNN is your favorite program.
28. …you call the Post Locator instead of Information to find your friends.
29. …you take the family camping with no tent or sleeping bags.
30. …your kids can speak three languages by age eight.
31. …the only suit you own is your Class A uniform.
32. …you carry your pager to the shower.
33. …your vehicle is registered on post and in two different states.
34. …you convince your wife that all ten of your guns are necessary for home protection.
35. …you have more money invested in TA-50 than in your car.
36. ….you tell your kids to go to bed at 2100 and they try to explain that its only nine o’clock.
37. ….the allotment column of your LES has more entries than the entitlement column.
38. …no one understands the stories you tell because of all the acronyms.
39. …you can explain the Gettysburg battlefield better than directions to your house.
40. ….your kids know the words to “she wore a yellow ribbon.”
41. ….your two-year old calls everyone in BDUs “daddy”.
42. …the phone book lists your rank instead of Mr.
43. …your spouse hasn’t unpacked the good china for twenty years.
44. …your monthly BAS goes to the mess hall.
45. …you ruin the movie for everyone around you by pointing out the unrealistic military scenes.
46. …you live on post so you can hear reveille every morning.
47. ….your family calls you “Sir.”
48. ….all your jokes begin with “there was this soldier, a marine and an airman…”
49. And the biggest indicator … if you understood and related to the above list!!!!!